New Domain

I'm now blogging at http://www.potatomom.com. I'm still on the fence about if I should import my posts from here over to there. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments.

Mother's Day, Delays, and Graduations

My first Mother's Day was lackluster. I didn't feel well in the morning and we spent most of the afternoon with Matt's family. When I got home, I wrote a paper for class.

I want to renew my data plan on my phone and start geocaching with Lorelai as something to do. All my friends without kids are busy going on trips and having drunken adventures. My mom friends are busy with work and family. Lorelai and I went to the park and had fun, so getting out in the world more seems like it would be our bag.

Today I was supposed to have an appointment to have my birth control implanted, but it hadn't arrived. I have to call Carenet tomorrow to ask about the delivery to the office, and all that jazz. I'm sure Matt is chomping at the bit for me to get protection set. We haven't been intimate since before Lorelai was born, about three months ago. Bless his heart, I don't know many guys who would go a quarter of a year without so much as one complaint.

Lorelai is sleeping in her crib at night pretty regularly. I took this at about 3 in the morning some time back as proof to myself that I hadn't imagined it. This picture makes her look so big in her crib, while standing over it she seems so small to me.

I think it might also be time to graduate her to the faster flow nipple on her bottle. She's gotten to where she'll create a vacuum from sucking it so hard and collapse the nipple. To fix it, I insert a fingertip in her mouth at the side and pry her little lips out. The nipple pops back into place and with minimal fussing she's back to drinking, only to have it happen again about five minutes later.

We went to my friend Hannah's pregrad graduation. I regret I didn't get any pictures on my camera of Lorelai in her dress. She looked so cute, but also kind of like a little old man in drag. She didn't fuss, even though I thought she'd be bothered by the loud cheering and music. She was alert through the entire two hour ceremony, sitting in my lap and looking around intently. She crashed hard on the way back to the car.

Grandma and Pawpaw babysat her while we went to the post-graduation party and I got way drunker than I'd been in a long time. Since June of last year, in fact, when I found out I was pregnant. Ha ha. We left the party early because we missed her and didn't want to take advantage of Matt's parents. At least we weren't the first to leave, though.

Matt took care of her that night and into the morning so I could sleep off my bad decisions.

While I don't have frilly dress baby pictures to share, there is a video I got earlier in the week.

Update

We just got a call from the doctors office. Lorelai's ultrasound is scheduled for a week from today on the 17th.

2 month checkup

My poor kid is not in a good mood. Today she had her 2 month checkup and got the TDaP vaccine as a shot, and the rotovirus vaccine orally. She cried until she was red in the face in the office, but calmed down when we got out to the car. We needed to go into VCU with Matt to hand in his last assignment of the semester so we got to walk around Richmond with her in the mei tei carrier. The entire time she was snuggled close to my chest when usually she likes to look around. Now that we're home, she just wants to stay snugged with me on the couch, and was not pleased with the five minutes I made her stay in her swing so I could get some e-mails to my professor and team partners sent out on this week's group project for my class. I'm expecting the clingy, fussy behavior to continue for the rest of the night into tomorrow.

The good  of the doctor's visit is that she's 9lb, 5 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long. She's at the 10th percentile for her age on both measurements, which is higher than she has been in previous visits. She impressed the doctor with how well she does on her tummy, and the way she drank the vaccine. The doctor says in her experience babies that take the oral vaccine well end up being good eaters as they grow up instead of picky eaters. Fingers crossed she got my general agreeability in the food department because dealing with Matt's pickiness is hard enough.

We asked again about her birthmark because it makes Matt nervous and he wasn't at her last appointment when the doctor assured me it was okay. She noticed this time how deep the hemangioma seemed to go and because it's on the midline of her back we're going to be scheduled for an ultrasound. The doctor did warn us that they might want an MRI as well, but hopefully an ultrasound will enough. The worry is that if the hemangioma goes deep enough, it might connect with her spinal cord and may need surgical intervention. If it doesn't connect, then there's no problem and we'll just leave it be because these things tend to clear up after a few years anyway.

She goes back to the doctor at 4 months for her next wellness check.

While today was the checkup, she actually turned 2 months old four days ago, on Star Wars Day. So we found our local 501st Legion and I got a picture for the baby book.

Say, isn't that guy a little short for a Stormtrooper?

Decoding the Secret Language of Babies

It's not the baby's fault she's an asshole, I think to myself as we rock and I sing to her. I try the bottle again. She holds it in her mouth for a couple of halfhearted sucks and continues to scream. I rub her back, kiss her forehead, and continue rocking and singing. Her diaper is dry, she's warm. I can't think of any reason she should be crying aside from the fact that she is a tiny little douchecanoe. It's not her fault, I remind myself. Look at who her parents are. 

 Lorelai has a delightful new habit in which she wails incessantly for no apparent reason, until she wears herself out. She'll pass out, somehow manage to get hiccups, and then wake up to start all over again, upset at the hiccups. It's a riveting drama that only seems to be playing when I'm home alone with her.

Jerk.

Why couldn't she spring this on Matt? I think it might be a hint that I've got a Daddy's Girl. I think I might have finally translated what it means, though, and hopefully peace can descend on our village once more. What I'm pretty sure she's saying when she gets like this is, "Get out of my face, Mom, but I really want to be cuddled." Yesterday and today during these fits, I needed something to do with my hands that didn't involve strangling my daughter or writing a sign to place by her on the street. Free puppy! Not housetrained. So I kissed her forehead and swaddled her. And the crying immediately stopped.

Oh she glared. I was staring at an angry burrito, but it was a burrito stuffed full of hot, satisfying SUBMISSION. So this is my new coping tactic for the crying. Swaddling.

Also, we had our Centering reunion, though only two other ladies ended up showing. It was still fun to see them, their babies, and talk about our births. I'm planning on making playdates with them as our kiddos grow up.

Can you tell which child is mine? HINT: SHE IS THE ONE WHO IS CRYING.

New insulin, huzzah!

I've been switched off the 70/30 insulin and onto a Lantus/Novolog combo. It's what I've been asking for for a long time now, and hopefully will work much better for us. I haven't feeling very well lately and I really think it's been my blood glucose levels. So hopefully I'll feel better as soon as my system can balance out.

Lorelai is doing so well. At my 6 week appointment I was cleared for exercise so we'll be starting the couch to 5k program together, using the jogging stroller. :) She's starting to stay awake more, focus more, and lift her head. It's exciting, because this is just a glimpse of the next milestones to come - when she'll look in our eyes and smile and laugh, when she'll start cooing and burbling, playing and communicating beyond just letting us know when she's hungry or uncomfortable.

Good and Bad

Lorelai slept through the night last night! I was starting to to think it would never happen, but we had a stretch of about five and a half hours of uninterrupted sleep, which I think was good for both of us.

I've been in need of a pick me up. Lorelai still won't nurse and I found that she's got an upper lip frenulum tie. It could be making it too uncomfortable for her to stay latched. On top of that, my milk supply is drying up. Despite my best efforts, we're down to producing 1/2 an ounce per day.

The first pump of the day is where I tend to get the most, and this was what I got for today, despite having started to leak just before hooking myself to the milker. It's disheartening, but it might just be best for us for me to stop stressing about it and let what happens happen. I'm going to keep pumping until there's nothing left, just so she gets the absolute most breastmilk she can, but I think that it might just be best for my stress levels to accept that we had the deck stacked against us and we lost this battle.

Today is supposed to be beautiful and 75 so later we're going to go for a long walk around Maymont park. It will be nice to get out and about, and see the gardens in bloom.